


Akai Shuuichi & Amuro Tooru Drabbles!

by Tsubasa_chan



Category: Case closed, Detective Conan, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Drabble Collection, M/M, Translation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-04-04 15:29:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14023251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tsubasa_chan/pseuds/Tsubasa_chan
Summary: Originally created by AIUmimi. Translated by Tsubasa_chan(with permission). Hope you guys like these drabbles! P.S. I do not own Detective Conan/Case Closed.





	1. Week One

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [【段子】一些简简单单的小段子哦](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/364617) by AIUmimi. 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kir thought she saw Bourbon cry, Masumi wanted a boy to marry her, Akai smashed a bakery, and Amuro told Akai about his first crush.

1.If Akai Shuuichi gets mad at Amuro Tooru, it would only increase Tooru's hate for him; If Amuro Tooru gets mad at Akai Shuuichi, it would only increase Akai's love for him.

2.Kir wasn't familiar with Bourbon, so it came as a mild surprise when he talked to her today.  
"You're the one who killed Akai Shuuichi?"  
She had never seen it in person, but Kir certainly had heard much of how Bourbon and Akai Shuuichi hated each other. Is he here to give her his congratulations?  
"Yeah, that's me."she replied.  
"A bullet in the head? Was it so?"  
Kir nodded her head positively.  
"Okay......Thanks." Bourbon seemed to become crestfallen. He turned around and walked away.  
For a split moment, Kir thought she saw tears well up in Bourbon's eyes. She shook her head.  
'A total illusion,' she concluded.

3.Mary: Shuuichi! Just look at what you've done to Masumi!I feel like I have three sons instead of two! I'm so worried that Masumi will bring a girlfriend home someday, all thanks to your influence!  
Shuuichi[calmly, as if he didn't care at all]: What are you talking about, Mom? Why would I bring girls home?  
Mary:(Something's wrong......Oh, what is it?)  
When Amuro Tooru married Akai Shuuichi, Mary heard Masumi shout delightedly,"Wow! Fantastic! I want a boy to marry me someday!"  
The world suddenly seemed like a dark, dark place to Mary Sera......

4.It's been a long while, Bourbon...... Oh, it's Amuro Tooru, isn't it? Is that right, Furuya Rei?

5.Conan: There must be a reason for the author to cast you as someone who enjoys Bourbon! What's your opinion, Mr.Akai?  
Akai: I like your use of "enjoy"......  
Conan:......

6.Every time Amuro Tooru sees Akai Shuuichi, a siren goes on in his head, warning him that currently his IQ is currently nonexistent.

7.When Akai heard from Conan that a baker had been flirting with Amuro(really?), he was mad. Mad with a capital "M". So mad he smashed the man's bakery; he did such a good job not a single item was left unscathed.  
The baker ran to Amuro's cafe, seeking comfort. Amuro Tooru patted the baker's shoulder sympathetically.  
"I'll talk to him about this...... But he's probably still mad right now, so if I were you, I wouldn't talk to me...... At least not now, anyway...... Or he might smash your bones as well."  
"......" How terrifying people are at times.

8.The teachers gave the students a class assignment-- writing a composition called "Under My Mom's Unbrella", which she had meant for the children to express their love when their moms brought them their umbrellas on rainy days. Conan seemed to have finished, so the teacher glanced at the lined paper in front of him as she passed by. There was only one sentence on the paper:  
"My mom, Rei, only remembers to bring umbrellas to my dad, Shuuichi, on rainy days; I ran home every single time."

9.Amuro: My skin had a reason for being so dark, you know!  
Akai: Really? I thought that you were born with it.  
Amuro: Of course not! I wa 19 back then, my skin as white as snow, much whiter than you are now. I went to the seaside with my parents one summer and......  
Akai:[interrupting] You spent too much time under the sun?  
Amuro: Stop it! Anyway, I was picking up seashells on the beach. I can't swim, so I'm afraid to play with the other kids. Then, I saw the hottest guy in the entire world, who was wearing sunglasses and sunbathing.  
Akai:(That sounds familiar......)  
Amuro: It was love at first sight. But he left with his family a few minutes later-- I didn't even get a chance to talk to him! From that day on, I went to that beach on a daily basis, hoping to catch a glance of him again..... And then, yes, I spent too much time under the sun, so I became dark-skinned, which seemed to be irreversible.  
Akai: Eh......  
Amuro: What do you mean, "eh"? That was my first crush! You're nothing compared to him!  
Akai: (Should I tell him that I was the "hottest guy on earth" he met on the beach? I'd been wondering why that young girl, no, boy was staring at me......)

10.Mr. Akai enjoys smoking and drinking. Sometimes he'd smoke, sometimes he'd drink, sometimes he'd smoke and drink. When he gets bored, he'd stub out his cigarette in the Bourbon he'd been drinking, and go find Amuro Tooru.


	2. Week Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Akai slapped Amuro's face by mistake, Amuro refused to talk to Akai, and Akai suggested that Amuro call him "husband dear".

11\. If Akai Shuuichi had known beforehand that Amuro Tooru would turn over Okiya Subaru's collar to check if there is a hidden voice changer, he'd rather die than allow some other guy play the part of Okiya Subaru for him.

12.Akai Shuuichi woke up in the middle of the night to fight with his life-long enemies-- the mosquitoes; he slapped Amuro Tooru's face by mistake.  
Amuro Tooru, who had been sleeping soundly before then, was extremely furious at being slapped for no reason."What the hell are you doing?"  
Akai knows a Code Red situation when he sees one, so he tried to make up for himself. "I've left my mark on you," he explained. "You're mine now."  
"Huh." Amuro muttered something under his breath. It didn't really matter what he said; the blush on his face gave everything away.

13.Amuro bought two crickets and decided to let them fight.  
"You're called Amuro Cricket; you're called Akai Cricket."  
Akai Cricket was the victor.  
Amuro pointed his finger at Amuro Cricket,"Now you are Akai Cricket."  
Akai bought two crickets and decided to let them fight.  
"You're called Akai Cricket; you're called Amuro Cricket."  
Akai Cricket was the victor.  
Akai pointed his finger at Akai Cricket,"Use less strength, will you? You're hurting him."  
Conan bought two crickets and decided to let them fight.  
"You're called Akai Cricket; you're called Amuro cricket."  
After a while, he realized that he had bought a male and a female cricket-- both were in heat.  
Conan walked away,"Don't mind me, you two."

14.It is of general agreement that one's wedding should be the best memory in one's life.  
However, Akai Tooru disagrees.  
People tried and tried to coax the answer out of him, yet none of them succeeded. The crowd of gossipers have no choice but to turn to Akai.  
In order to stop them from pestering his darling wife, Akai decided to tell them the truth,"Some idiot chose black chocolate for Tooru's wedding cake topper."  
"......"

15.Tooru was mad at Shuuichi-- the result of an extremely unfortunate accident.  
"Akai Shuuichi, you jerk! Don't expect me to talk to you for a week!" said and angry kitten-- hair raised, claws out.  
"......"Shuuichi thought for a while, sighed, and went back into his room.  
Tooru stayed in the living room, steaming.  
Ten minutes or so later, the door opened with a creek, accompanied with the sound of footsteps.  
You want to ask for my apologies? Not going to happen, Akai Shuuichi, no matter what.  
\--"Hello, I'm Okiya Subaru."  
"......" That's enough......

16.Amuro: You've got so many names, Akai Shuuichi, Rye, Moroboshi Dai, Okiya Subaru..... I don't know what to call you.  
Akai: Why don't you just call me "husband dear", then?  
Amuro:......

17.The subtext of "I don't want to be your enemy" is "I want to be your friend."  
The subtext of "I want to be your friend" is "I want to go out with you."  
Believe it or not, that's the truth.

18."Watch this soap opera with me, please～"  
"No."  
"Why not?"  
"I won't."  
"Not even for a few minutes?"  
"I'd rather kill myself."  
"It's very entertaining, you know."  
"I won't! I don't want to some idiot show called 'The Tsundere Golden Kitten and His Master, the FBI with the Knitted Hat'! It sounds oddly familiar and therefore I! Won't! Watch! It!"  
"......"

19.Camel: If you didn't kill Scotch, Mr.Akai, why don't you tell Amuro at the time? If you had done so, the two of you wouldn't have such a big misunderstanding.  
Akai: This is the only way-- the only way for Tooru to follow me around 24/7, the only way to stop him from being interested in others...... Or he'd be someone else's boyfriend before you finish saying "Federal Bureau of Investigation".  
Camel:......(What should I say......I mean, Mr.Akai, you are THE Akai Shuuichi, for god's sake......)

20."What would you do," inquired Amuro,"If I got drunk and started behaving badly?  
"I would lock you in whatever room we're in and admire the lovely things you do." Akai took a sip of his glass of Bourbon, a wicked smile appearing on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, last week our school had a Spelling Bee, and guess what? I came third! That's certainly encouraging:-D  
> I still can't believe that I forgot how to spell "paparazzi". Maybe it's my stomach bugs?


	3. Week Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Akai bought Amuro tampons and ate the animals that Amuro bought for him.

21.After they started living under the same roof, Akai often buys things for Amuro.  
Today, he bought him a bow.  
"Excuse me? What do you mean by buying me this?" Amuro questioned angrily.  
"......I got a bit carried off; you might as well make do with it."  
In order to avoid putting it to waste(it costs money, after all), Amuro had to pretend that it's a bowtie-- one that happened to be pink and girly-- and wear it to work.  
From that day on, Akai buys female belongings for him on a daily basis, including stuff such as hand cream and facial masks. Amuro......Well, he gritted his teeth and put up with it.  
Until one day, Akai bought him this......  
"Akai! Go use it yourself!!" Every hair on his body bristling, Akai threw the bag of tampons at Akai.

22.Amuro decided to make an extra earning and finally decided on the job of the delicery man.  
The first customer was someone called Mary. He arrived in front of a villa.  
"Ring~"  
"Hello, your delivery has arrived."  
The woman named Mary opened the door, stopping at the sight of Amuro. Then she said jubilantly,"Thank you, box."  
As Amuro stood there, baffled, Mary shouted again, this time to someone inside the house,"Shuuichi! The girlfriend you've ordered has arrived!"  
She tugged Amuro into the house and stuffed him in the arms of a man with a knitted hat.  
Oh my god. How on earth did the lady think up such an idea? Does her son need a date that badly? Those were the only thoughts as Amuro stood, stunned, therefore oblivious to the fact that Akai had tightened his arms around him.

23.Question: How did Mr.Amuro manage to toss the bomb up so high in M20?  
Amuro: Oh, that? I simply thought of it as Akai.

24.When little Furuya Rei was told that girls need to change their surnames after being married, he was surprised. Patting his chest, he said,"Isn't it lucky that I'm a boy! I like my surname!"  
Fate had its way of mocking people, turning them into fools.  
Years later, Furuya Rei--or as we should now call him, Amuro Tooru-- was more than willing to accept the surname "Akai".

25.Recently, Amuro was obsessed with drums, banging on his newly bought drum everyday.  
Unable to resist his curiosity, Conan asked,"What's up with this sudden hobby of yours, Mr.Amuro?"  
Amuro held up the drum, seeming quite pleased of himself. "This is a red drum," he banged it once, twice, three times. "Also known as the akai drum."  
"Eh......"

26.Akai was given two months off. Not bothering to go anywhere, he stayed home and felt bored.  
Amuro noticed that Akai was about to be bored to death, so he bought him a companion-- a cute cuddly bunny on his way to work.  
When he returned, however, the bunny was nowhere to be seen. Amuro was mystified, but didn't ask anything.  
The next day, Amuro, who had searched high and low the night before but can't find the bunny anywhere, bought a puppy. When he got back, it had vanished as well.  
The day after that, Amuro bought a bird. When he arrived home, the bird cage was empty.  
He simply can't stand it anymore.  
"Akai Shuuichi! Don't you know what I buy these animals for?"  
Akai looked at him, puzzled."They were food, right? Meat fresh from the market......That's your intention, wasn't it?"  
"......!!!!"

27\. Ending of M20(the part where Amuro and Akai were staring at each other.)  
THE REALISTIC VERSION  
Tooru: What are you doing here?  
Shuuichi: Just checking if you're hurt.  
Tooru: I'm fine, thank you- that is, except for a certain punch thanks to somebody.  
Shuuichi: Then I'll be on my way.  
Tooru:......  
THE MIND-BLOWING VERSION:  
Tooru: What are you doing here?  
Shuuichi: I'm here to inform you taht we're having dinner at a different restaurant tonight.  
Tooru: A different restaurant? Which one?  
Shuuichi: The ramen store next to your place is taking the place to the Michelin three-star restaurant.  
Tooru: Nani?!  
Shuuichi: My sniping rifle's broken! I need to save money to fix it!  
THE BLUE VERSION:  
Shuuichi: Meet me in the forest, Rei......I've got a few things I'd like to tell you.  
Tooru: Allow me to consider this for a moment......  
Shuuichi: It's wouldn't take long; a minute is all I need.  
Tooru:Okay. Oh, by the way, I'll be bringing a can of pepper spray, a taser, a flashbang, and tear gas with me.  
Shuuichi:[Walking away] Forget it.  
THE MEGA-REALISTIC VERSION:  
Shuuichi:......  
Tooru:......  
Shuuichi:......  
Tooru:......  
Shuuichi:......  
Tooru:......  
Shuuichi:[Walked away]......  
Tooru:......

28.Akai bought a box of chocolate for Amuro.  
Amuro: Wow! Turns out you can be romantic after all!  
Akai: Yeah, do you like it? Come on, eat it up!  
Amuro:Sure~  
So he opened the box and threw one piece of chocolate into his mouth.  
Amuro:!!!This is liqueur chocolate??!  
Akai:......Yes!  
Amiuro:I'd get drunk......(；OдO)  
Akai:(That's exactly what I had wanted.) Really? But you promised to EAT IT ALL UP......  
Amuro:(ㄒoㄒ)

29.The reason that Akai Shuuichi was brought back after being dead for seven years wasn't due to his great importance to pushing the plot, nor for the sake of Akai Shuuichi's fans. It wan't even because Akai Shuuichi was tired of pretending to be dead; the cause of it was a single message from Amuro.  
It read,"Baka Akai! You get your butt out here right now! Stop playing dead! Or do you want me to be somebody else's boyfriend?"  
And that's why Akai Shuuichi reappeared!  
Therefore every single one of us should be grateful and give our heartiest thanks to Mr.Amuro. WIthout him, Akai might be "dead" for a couple or more years......

30.Amuro had been searching for Akai all these years-- here and there, high and low.  
"You're left-handed?"  
His heart seemed to skip a beat as Amuro heard the sentence. He looked in the direction of the voice-- it was a young girl talking to an elderly man.  
"Are you sure you want this knitted hat? It's the last one in our shop."  
Could it be him? Amuro whipped around-- he saw a few school girls chattering in the hat shop across from him, a knitted hat with flower patterns held in the hands of one of them.  
Absolutely revolting......He turned around, wiping the tears streaming down his cheeks. It happens every time: you get your hopes up and then you're crushed; that's exactly why a bitter smile now hangs on his lips.  
"You like Bourbon? So do I!"  
Amuro's hope perished yet again.  
Finally......  
"I'm fond, no, in love with Amuro Tooru. I care about him-- very, very much."  
A shadow fell on Amuro Tooru......He saw a man wearing a pair of sunglasses, blocking the sun; yet he is the sun......He cannot read what those eyes are trying to say......But it's him all right. He knows.  
"It's you......You've stopped being dead......  
"I've been looking for you......"  
......

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys happen to be reading this and liked this piece of translation, please let me know by commenting(｡･ω･｡)


	4. Week 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Amuro mistakes a light for a bomb; Amuro and Akai run into each other on a single-plank bridge; and Conan calls Amuro "Mommy"

31."I'll be your sister no matter what, right, Niisan?"  
"Of course, Masumi."  
"Then, will you give blessing to Mr.Amuro and I if we get married?"  
"......Who are you? Why are you in my house?"  
"......"(WTF!)

32.One of the reasons why Amuro has never been kind to Judy Starling: she can call Akai Shuuichi "Shu" in front of everyone when he can only address him as "Akai" or "FBI" when no one's watching.

33.Akai did something that made Amuro furious. Again.  
So he pointed his finger at Akai, and spat out the most evil curse he knew,"Baka Akai! I hope your future wife is ugly, wicked, stupid, and very very bad!"  
Akai sighed. "Honey, why are you saying all these evidently fake things about yourself?"

34.Amuro: You are FBI's ace, I came top at police college; you are a Jeet Kune Do master, I have been boxing since I was a child. Then our offspring must be--  
Akai:--An expert at fighting.  
Amuro:......

35."Mommy, how do you solve this Math problem?"  
"Mommy, I want cookies!"  
"I'm so sorry, Mommy, I broke the vase! It's an accident, I promise!"  
......  
Tooru can take it no more. Glaring mournfully at Shuuichi(who happened to be reading newspapers), he asked,"Why am I in charge of all of Conan's problems? We haven't decided on wife and husband, have we?"  
Shuuichi turned over a page, and replied, without lifting his head,"Who lost rock, paper, scissors last night?"

36.It was agreed by the entire Police Wolf Pack that Amuro Wolf is the real ass-kicker among them.  
His greatest wish right now is to catch a certain rabbit who goes by the name of Akai.  
After months of hard work, he managed to discover the hiding hole of the cunning rabbit. Then came the shocking discovery: that the supposed Akai Rabbit is actually Akai Tiger.  
The Police Wolf Pack woke up to an announcement--mad by Akai Tiger- that came as a surprise to everyone.  
"Amuro Wolf is MY mate now. Paws off, every other living creature!"

37.Akai and Amuro ran into each other on a single-plack bridge.  
Amuro stared at his adversary with a devious smile on his face,"You want to get across? Well, that's not going to happen."  
Akai's face remained emotionless. Amuro felt the corner of his mouth lift up. Let's see how you deal with this,FBI.  
Akai walked forward calmly and put a hand on Amuro's shoulder. The other one hooked itself on the police's calf, so that Akai held Amuro in his arms.  
"What are you doing? Let me down!" Amuro's voice was quavering.  
Akai turned around, set AMuro down, smiled at him, turned back again, and sauntered off the bridge.  
Leaving Amuro in a state of utter confusion and terror.

38.Amuro stayed up for several nights after listening to Conan's advice, pondering. Finally, he decided to make up with Akai.  
On his way to Akai's, he saw two cats: a yellow one and a black one. The yellow cat seemed to be in some kind of quarrel with the black cat, staying away from him. A few minutes later, the yellow cat, feeling lonely, padded forward and started licking the black cat.  
Amuro was simply delighted by this scene. Is this an omen signalling I can make up with AKia? AT this thought, he was filled with self-confidence.  
Suddenly, the black cat put itself on top of the yellow cat in a gesture of mating. The yellow cat struggled half-heartedly for a few seconds, and-- to Amuro's horror-- seemed to start enjoying it!  
Upon seeing this, Amuro pulled the two cats apart hurriedly. He said in a trembling voice,"No! No! It shouldn't go like this! I'm going to Akai's to make up, not to make out!"

39.One weekend, Amuro and AKai were fixing a light that has stopped working.  
Putting a chair under the light, Amuro told Akai to steady him. And he stepped onto the chair.  
Akai gave a nod, then wrapped his arms around Amuro's waist.  
Bothered, Amuro grumbled,"I thought I told you to steady the chair-- what do you mean by doing this? Hands off, it itches!"  
"It's the same; go one, fix the light." Akai's face wasn't giving away anything.  
"As if I don't know what yyour real intention is."muttered Amuro under his breath. To feel me up, he added silently.  
He started fixing the light, but the hands on his waist were most certainly distracting him.  
Akai, you possessive bastard....Watch where you are putting those fingers......It really itches......  
What is happening.....Why is my heart beating so fast all of a sudden......  
Okay, let's cut this wire first......Then that one......  
The itch is simply driving me crazy......  
Can Akai hear the sound of my heart beating?  
......  
Bang!  
All of a sudden, the lamp fell off the ceiling. It took quite a while befor Amuro, wide-eyed, realized what the problem was.  
"Damn! I thought I was disarming a bomb!"  
Akai sighed, "How on earth......"  
Amuro glared at him,"It's your fault! You're paying for a new light!"  
"......"  
"Stop touching my waist!"

40.During a class reunion, Amuro was asked how he and his boyfriend got together.  
"Back then I was a 21-year-old girl-- boy, not girl-- not that familiar with Shuuichi. One day, he appeared on my doorsteps with a bass, singing love songs to me......"  
"Wow, that's so romantic!"  
"He returned the next day at the same time. So did he the day after that; in fact, he sang everyday, even when it was raining or snowing......"  
"You must be so moved!"  
"Not quite. After a while, my neighbors can't take it anymore. They came to me, bringing with them fruit baskets and cookies. They said to me,'Why don't you accept him, Tooru? He's a handsome young man-- dedicated, too. Plus, his songs have the powers of biochemical weapons. We're going to have to move if he doesn't stop singing anytime soon."  
"......"  
"......"  
"......"  
"What happened to you guys? Why aren't you talking?"

**Author's Note:**

> These drabbles are originally created by AIUmimi at the address https://tieba.baidu.com/p/4728975920?red_tag=2688225392


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